Your home should be a place of comfort and serenity, but sometimes the bliss can be disrupted by an uncomfortable dispute with a neighbor. Neighbor disputes can arise in a variety of forms:

• Noise
• Pets
• Children
• Home Appearance
• Property Boundaries
• Suspected Criminal Behavior

So what can be done to best achieve harmony when neighbor problems arise?

HOW TO AVOID

Many times the best strategy for handling a neighbor problem can be to either prevent the issue from arising in the first place, or to at least lay the groundwork for making the issue easier to resolve. For example:

Get to Know Them. Getting to know your neighbors on a personal level can help make it easier to nip issues in the bud before they escalate into more serious problems. Plus, having the door open with a personal relationship can also make the discussion go smoother when it ever comes time to raise concerns.

Start a Log. For most homeowners, your sense of home is deeply personal, and sometimes writing out a list of problem occurrences can help remove emotion from the circumstances. When you see the chronology objectively, you might even come to the realization that the problem isn't as significant as you might have originally thought.

Take a Breath. Yes, the situation with your neighbor may not be as perfect as you may have had with other neighbors, but if you take a step back, in the grander scheme of things is the issue really worth bringing to a head, or would it be better to let things slide?

Be Careful Not to Instigate. Like the old saying, "make sure your own doorstep is clean," sometimes a neighbor's actions can be a reaction to things that you may inadvertently be doing that get under their skin. So considering things from your neighbor's perspective can sometimes be helpful in preventing issues from getting started.

SUGGESTIONS FOR HANDLING

Even if you've done your best to avoid a dispute with a neighbor, sometimes they still arise. Here are some suggestions to consider for helping to resolve a neighbor dispute situation.

Homeowner Association (HOA). If you live where you are part of a homeowner association, you will want to review your HOA's guidelines to see if it covers the issue you are having. Many times HOA guidelines will have rules governing noise, pets, fencing, home and yard appearances, etc. If so, you can look to the HOA to help you resolve the dispute.

Talk it Out. Most of the time, when handled politely and objectively, disputes can be handled simply by bringing the issue to the attention of the neighbor. Rather than just raising a complaint, it can usually be helpful to be prepared to offer constructive suggestions.

Writing a Note or Email. If for some reason you are not comfortable with having a face-to-face discussion with your neighbor, you might want to consider writing a polite note or email. If you suspect that the issue may be affecting many in your neighborhood, an anonymous note left in the mailbox can be appropriate.

Mediation. For serious disputes that you've not been able to resolve through other means, and to avoid the costs and risks associated with taking legal actions, agreeing to binding mediation can be an effective way of getting your dispute resolved.

Regardless of the approach you take, you'll want to be careful not to react in the moment. Bumping into your neighbor at the end of a long day, or when your anger is peaked during an incident, is probably not the best time to calmly raise constructive dispute resolution suggestions. Also, whether in person or in writing, try not to pile on a long list of grievances. Instead, if can be helpful to focus on getting resolution on at most the top three. One other note, you'll want to be careful discussing your concerns with other neighbors. While sometimes it can be helpful to get their perspective, you may not want to create a gossip atmosphere.

Lastly, if things are not able to be resolved to your satisfaction, it might be worth considering that life is too short to feel trapped in an uncomfortable home situation, and maybe it is time to factor your neighbor situation in your plans for upsizing, downsizing, retirement relocation, or moving to a better neighborhood.